Hey, Antarctica. Hey… over here. Hey, uhm, could you please stop blowing snow around and being so angry, just for a minute, and listen to me? Look, I don’t know how to say this, but… people are starting to talk.
Look, I want this relationship to work more than anyone. I put a lot into “us,” you know? I sacrificed a lot to be with you, and I have to say, well, overall, you’ve made me happy.
And I know you’re moody. I knew it before we got together. Your unpredictability is part of your charm, after all. Everyone knows what you’re like.
But, well… this is something I’ve been feeling for a while and, quite frankly, others are starting to notice. I’m hearing it a lot.
“Did you notice it was her day off and the weather sucked again?”
“The four Condition Two days we’ve had during WinFly have all been on her day off… is Antarctica trying to tell her something or what?”
“She came here to hike Antarctica and it seems like it’s avoiding her, doesn’t it?”
Look, all I’m saying is, well, if it’s something I’ve done, tell me. Let’s talk about it. You can’t just keep on pretending nothing’s wrong the whole week, going about all blue skies and sunshine and then, when I finally have a day off to spend with you, throwing a hissyfit of wind and snow and fog.
That’s just not how reasonable continents behave, Antarctica.
Oh, I see. You’re just going to get your drifts in a tift that I’m even bringing it up. Well, you know what? Fine. Be that way. I’m not even going to sit by the window at dinner. And then I’m going up to my room to watch Ashes to Ashes on DVD. And you know what? I’m not even going to think, not once, about how we could be spending great time together if it wasn’t for all your issues about me having nice weather on my day off.
So there. And you know what? White is not your color. It makes you look paunchy.